Monday, June 7, 2010

Lessons from the First Day


Last year, I had to be in Boston for the historic and first ever GK Global Summit in June.  And although my heart was bursting with joy at the privilege of being part of it, it was also broken in a thousand pieces because I missed our Kuya Aaron's first day of school in Xavier.  So while preparing for the event in Boston, I would peek into Facebook and see pictures of my son all dressed up in school uniform for the first time (no uniform in his small school).   And as we reveled in the victory of that event, I was also weeping at night talking to my son talk about his first day of school and struggling to find answers to the question : "Where are you Mom? Why aren't you here?"



Those questions brought with it many sleepless nights where I was left wondering.  I still wonder sometimes and I must admit the answer escapes me still. 



But today, I woke up to a beautiful morning.  It is Aaron's first day of school again, and this time, I am right there to witness every moment of this historic day in his life.  This time, little Calliya joins the adventure, and all three of us got into the car at 6:15 today and drove to Ateneo to bring Kuya to school.


Yesterday, Manny and I toured him around the campus and taught him how to go to his classroom from the drop off area (parents are no longer allowed).  Even yesterday, he was so confident.  I was wondering how such a small boy like him could walk without fear in the huge grounds of the grade school.  Today, I expected him to at least be a bit nervous because there were so many kids around, but when we finally said goodbye, I asked him if he was going to be okay.  

He just replied, "Yes Mom.  I'll be fine.  I can do this!"  It really felt like he was the one assuring me instead of the other way around.  Go figure.


And I'm so lucky because we have GK Ateneo, so I'm here working on some stuff and blogging while waiting for early dismissal time at 9:30.  This time, I am with our little princess and she's lying down on the chair while Mommy's working.  This reminds me of the good old days when I used to bring Aaron to work everyday.

These days, I find that this balancing act of wife, mom and missionary is getting to be more difficult but a conversation with Manang Joy Mempin reminded me of a very important lesson I learned a while back.

It's not about balance, but about intensity.  Yes, intensity.  Yes, 100% in everything you do.  Yes, because all these facets of life are meant to serve one God.  I am a wife because my service to my husband serves God.  I am a mom because taking care of my children honors God.  I am a missionary because it is my deepest purpose -- and in the mission is revealed the very face of God.

I also just found out from a GK co-servant, Sheila Abella, that we have another brilliant young woman, a cum laude, who just gave up a promising career and chose to serve as a Sibol teacher in their GK community.  And so these young children will be given the same beautiful opportunities that our own children are being given.  It is again an affirmation that the small part that we all play in this great work that is GK really makes a difference.  And these little sacrifices that we all make together for love of God and country are the pillars of GK : God's Kingdom on earth.

Which brings me back to the existential questions from my son.  I don't know the answer, I don't know if I ever will.

But seeing my little daughter now asleep on my lap while I type on my computer, I am once again reminded that I should not worry too much for the future.  After all, despite all the worries about Aaron coming to work with me everyday, he has grown up to be quite a wonderful little boy who loves life and learning.  And so I find that God just has His ways of taking care of my concerns in ways I didn't expect.  Everyday, I just seek for the grace to be faithful to the call because that is all that matters.


Today, I once again discover that faithfulness is its own reward.  

And so we push forward.  Building our own families, building a nation, building heaven on earth.  What a beautiful world for our children and for the generations to come.

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